Umofia: A satirical piece titled "Useless Column: 'Why inside is red and sweet'" explores the societal trends and personal anecdotes of career choices and marital relationships in Umofia land. The column humorously delves into the tendency of individuals in Umofia to avoid challenging subjects like mathematics and science, opting instead for perceived easier paths in politics, law, and writing. The author reflects on personal career aspirations, revealing a childhood desire to become an air hostess, which eventually led to an unexpected career in masonry.
According to Ghana Web, the column humorously critiques the societal inclination towards avoiding technical education, highlighting the scarcity of artisans like masons, who play a crucial role in nation-building. The author shares personal anecdotes, including a nephew named Sonnie who is pursuing masonry, and friends who have diverged from their childhood dreams. Through these stories, the column underscores the unpredictability of career paths and the importance of technical skills.
The narrative shifts to explore marital dynamics with a humorous account of the author's relationship with his wife. The column describes the wife's unpredictable sleeping habits, which range from sleeping in different rooms to adopting unconventional sleeping positions. The author humorously recounts purchasing a ladder as a precautionary measure, should his wife decide to sleep on the rooftop. The column playfully highlights the challenges of understanding one's spouse and the futility of trying to please everyone.
As the column concludes, the author reflects on the societal perception of niceness, suggesting that being perceived as rude or arrogant often garners more respect than being overly nice. The column ends on a lighthearted note, with the author humorously declaring his intention to post religious quotations online while behaving contrary to them, encapsulating the satirical tone of the piece.